


salvum fac temet ipsum

by sampaguitaeiji



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, wala na talaga ako magawa sa buhay ko putangina usto ko lang umiyak, yeyyyyy im wrting again? wtf
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-15
Updated: 2019-11-25
Packaged: 2021-01-31 05:48:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21441220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sampaguitaeiji/pseuds/sampaguitaeiji
Summary: He could have saved himself, he had a chance, he had time, he had someone who was waiting for him; someone who loved him. Was waiting for him? No, still is waiting for him, every minute of every single day, waiting for a chance to see those jade green eyes again.A story, of  Eiji's, Yue's and Sing's thoughts when Ash died.I'm just really sad and I just wanted to project my feelings to something? Yeah fuck my life.ALSO! I think I'll have the fic in taglish?? I don't really know it depends
Relationships: Ash Lynx/Okumura Eiji
Comments: 6
Kudos: 11





	1. Yue

**Author's Note:**

> Lee Yut-Lung is furious.  
Because a caged-up wildcat had just been set free, and he chose to die instead of being free.  
God, he had a chance, why didn't he take it? Ash Lynx, you may have had an IQ of 200, but you are so fucking stupid.
> 
> Had an IQ of 200.

Lee Yut-Lung is furious. 

Because a caged-up wildcat had just been set free, and he chose to die instead of being free.  
God, he had a chance, why didn't he take it? Ash Lynx, you may have had an IQ of 200, but you are so fucking stupid.

Had an IQ of 200.

He couldn’t believe Ash was dead. He was supposed to be in Japan, living a stupid, mundane life with Eiji Okumura. But he’s dead.

Stabbed, not even in vital area, could have went to the hospital to get healed, but no.  
Stayed at that goddamned library and just sat there, fucking bled to death.

“You finally had the chance to live a free life and you wasted that chance that anyone in our world would take without another thought, Ash you were a lucky bastard,” Yue muttered to himself. He was drinking again, picture it in your head, a beautiful sixteen-year-old, sipping whiskey like he’s been drinking since he was a child. Just a boy, with so much on his shoulders, so much pain and too many things to do.

Just a boy and already head of the Lee family. Only sixteen and he’s already swimming in blood of too many people.

He’s mind was rushing with too many thoughts. Why was Ash so fucking stupid? Does Eiji already know what happened to Ash? Is he alright?

He didn’t know what to feel, what to think, what to say. He had never mourned properly for someone before.

Maybe now was the right time.

Maybe.


	2. Sing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sing Soo-Ling is so damn tired of mourning.
> 
> Too many people he held so close to his heart have died.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi sorry it this took to long I just had exams and it was so stressful.  
Welp I hope you guys enjoy this chapter???  
Sana gago i tried to make it u know more haba kasi,,,,,, gusto q pahabain.  
PARANG UNG KAGUSTUHAN KONG PAHABAIN BUHAY NILA ASH AT SHORTER.  
,,,,,,,,  
ok i'll just stop
> 
> ENOJY!
> 
> ALSO THANK YOU TO ACKERLYNX MY BB WHO COMMENTED AND HELPED MOTIVATE ME INTO MAKING THIS NEW CHAPTER NICE!!!:))))

Sing Soo-Ling is so damn tired of mourning.

Too many people he held so close to his heart have died.

First was Shorter.

Shorter with his stupid purple mohawk and his stupid shades. “They make me look cool, stop judging me Sing”, that was what he used to say, with a stupid, beaming grin on his face.

Then Lao, protective, neurotic older half-brother Lao.  
He who attacked a wild lynx to protect his little brother, only to have the lynx have a bite at him and leave him dead.

And then, Ash.

God, Ash.

Sing was the first to come to the morgue, after all, it wasn’t everyday a dead body is found in American Museum of Natural History with a smile on its face.

A dead body with golden hair and an angelic face.  
Who’s last smile was etched onto that face forever.

Sing doesn’t know how to tell Eiji.  
Eiji who’s probably on a plane right now on the way back to his homeland. Probably dreaming of his new life with Ash. 

If only he knew.

Sing is only 14 and just like Yut Lung, he holds a great burden upon his shoulder.  
Think the titan Atlas, who holds the sky on his shoulders in greek mythology, that was a good analogy on what it felt like, something so carefree sounding, so light on the tongue, but when placed upon your shoulders make your weak, mortal body heavier and heavier with each breath. 

Leader of the Chinatown Mafia, master of the “Flying Dragon Fang”, he’s only 14 for fucks sake.

He’s facing death in every crossroads he faces, and each time he has to make a choice it feels like someone's life string has just been cut by fate’s cold, unforgiving scissors.  
Sing is so tired.

Tired of mourning. Tired of having to lead men twice his size. Tired of having to bury another body under the ground. Tired of the endless stream of blood he tries to wash off his hands. Tired of living in a merciless place with rapists, drug lords and killers running deep through it’s very core. Tired of seeing cold, dead faces of people he just saw a week ago, smiling and happy. Tired of having to act tough. 

He’s only 14 years old.

He doesn’t even have the faintest clue on what normal 14 year olds do.  
Do normal 14 year olds have this much suffering on them?  
Having to bury bodies every month or so?  
Having to deal with drug deals, shoot outs and negotiations?

Sing knows he signed up for all of this willingly.  
He knows that almost everyone signed up for this kind of life willingly.  
So he really can’t complain can’t he?

But Ash didn’t sign up for this willingly.  
Sing knows what put Ash into all of this shit.  
Sing knows he was luckier than Ash.  
Sing knew how much pain and suffering Ash had to go through just to…

Just to die. 

In a fucking library, with a love letter covered in his blood. 

Ash just gave up, years of fighting tooth and nail to survive is too much of a tiring task, Sing of all people would know that. But how could Ash just give up? Just a few more paces away and he could be living in a place far, far away from the hellhole called New York, in a place where he’s loved and cared for. 

By Eiji.

I mean, Sing totally gets it, that Ash was trying to save Eiji, by letting himself bleed to death.

God give me the strength, Sing thought to himself.

He was so exhausted, he feels like he could just collapse if he stands up.  
But he still has so much to do.  
Rest can wait, he has to bury many corpses before he could finally rest easily.

And tell Eiji that Ash Lynx is dead.

God give him the strength.


End file.
